Dealing with the aftermath of an affair is typically a stressful and confusing process, and if you decide to try and work things out it may even seem like your relationship will never be "normal" again. While the chance is high that the dynamics of your relationship have been changed for good, this doesn't mean that the changes have to be negative. In fact, it's possible to make your relationship stronger than ever after an affair—here are a few effective techniques you can use to make it happen:
Make Couples Counseling a Priority
No matter who did the actual cheating, chances are that there was already a problem or two within the relationship during the lead up to the affair. To ensure that the same mistakes aren't made within your relationship as you work to strengthen your bond, and to better understanding where and how things went wrong so they can be addressed, it's important that both of you attend couples counseling together at a clinic like Drake Counseling Services.
Couples counseling is able to help you strengthen yourselves as individuals and as a couple. This will enable you to maintain stronger romantic relationships through the use effective communication methods and relationship building activities, whether you ultimately decide to stay together or move on to new relationships.
In couples counseling you'll both have an opportunity to explore each side's perspectives and grievances and to understand what psychological and emotional aspects led to the affair so new relationship and communication skills can be built around those dynamics. In the end you should find it easier to manage balanced, healthy relationships now and in the future.
Commit to Regular Date Nights
If you're like most people, your life can get pretty busy throughout the week which makes it tough to spend quality time with your loved one, even when you have the intention to do just that at the end of a long day. But couples who spend quality one-on-one time together on a regular basis enjoy enriched communication, higher commitment levels, and even increased sexual satisfaction.
What you do with your partner during your alone time together isn't as important as the fact that you're spending time together – but engaging in activities that give you a chance to talk and get active together will help you bond better than if you were to sit down to a movie or to watch a sports game together. If you have the time and energy, head to the park to for an evening picnic or take a walk through town to do some window shopping together. If you don't have much time or energy, simply stay home and play a game of cards or give each other a back massage.
Decorate Shared Space for Success
Pick a room in your home where you and your partner tend to spend the most time with one another and decorate it for relationship success with the help of color. Whether in the bedroom or living room, put a fresh coat of paint on the walls that encourages positive interaction with one another. Blue tends to bring blood pressure levels down and create a calming, relaxing environment. Green encourages togetherness and is even thought to enhance fertility. Purple is luxurious and romantic, offering a feel of royalty.
In addition to painting the walls you can add some color to your space by putting decorative throw pillows and blankets on the seating, which should increase the comfort factor of the space too. You should find that with the right colors in place, spending time with your loved one is a more pleasant and open experience because mood levels stay high.
By implementing these tips and techniques, you should find that all of your personal relationships flourish and become stronger as time goes on, including the relationship you have with yourself.